shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
