How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
