No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
