That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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