You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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