remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
