genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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