His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
