Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my nose is crying tears of wow.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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