Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
