And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
