My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize