I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
