Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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