Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
porn star boner night. come get it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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