im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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