Kareoke will never be a sober sport
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
