i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
