using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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