i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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