It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
