We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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