I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
