ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
