Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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