I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
