Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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