Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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