Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
