Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
