he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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