three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wear drunk well.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize