Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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