maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
