You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
