apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
