I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
