First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
