it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
