please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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