Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
