I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
