I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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