You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
