trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As shirtless as possible
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
