i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize