What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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