Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it's like iHOP with fire
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
