Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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