if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
