Tell her she can't have a vagina
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
