i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
