We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
