I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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