thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize