Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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