He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
