I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
