I need help removing her.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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