i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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