I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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