No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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